It’s funny. God and I go through the same cycle again and again. Actually, I go through the cycle, God just waits for me to “get it.”
He calls me to something that seems impossible to me – or really scary.
I say, “I can’t do that, Lord! I’m unqualified!”
And you know what? I am unqualified! I’m no great speaker. I’m not a great teacher. I am not the smartest or the most charismatic. I am definitely not a people person. I am very introverted, not an extrovert at all. I have a disability that makes me so socially awkward that I rarely talk to people first, I just wait for them to talk to me – then I am still self conscious.
No, definitely not qualified – not by myself anyway.
God, however, is qualified. And, this is the cool part, He works through me, in me and I become qualified! I just open myself up to Him, allow Him to use me and let myself be His vessel.
And I find myself doing things I couldn’t do before. I transcend my disability as He operates through me. My demeanor changes, my words change, my communication changes and I can reach beyond what I was told I could not do, beyond what I was told I was “hardwired” to be forever.
Yes, I still have Asperger’s and, yes, I still face challenges daily because of it. I still struggle, but at the right times I can step a foot into the NT world and communicate. I can reach people whether they are on the spectrum or not.
And that, my friend, is nothing but God!
He works through me in ways like this so that there can be no question. You know it is God. There is no doubt.
I am not certain where God is leading me right now, but I know He is working in my life in powerful ways.
I do know this, a year ago He was moving on my spirit to write a book. I resisted. I complained. I had a thousand excuses why I couldn’t write. I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t talented enough, people wouldn’t be able to understand it, blah, blah, blah.
It comes down to one word – fear.
I was afraid to step out of my comfort zone. But I finally took His hand and stepped out on the water. Guess what, I didn’t sink! I took those steps, keeping my eyes on Him – I’ve written 6 books since then and have several more in the works.
Now, I feel Him pressing on me to speak to groups.
OK, God, I’m ready when you are.