One thing that I see come up quite a bit with Aspies is relationships – usually of the romantic kind.
I know that I wanted a relationship but it was an awful experience! It seemed that any man I would date or get into a relationship with would get completely frustrated with me.
Most of the time it ended in abuse, either verbally, emotionally, physically or all three.
It wasn’t until I put it all into God’s hands that I actually found a husband. CW is good to me, loving and he has taken the time to educate himself on Asperger’s. He doesn’t always understand, but he tries.
Does he get frustrated? Of course. He would get frustrated anyway. That happens when two people live together. But we work it out.
It also helps that we keep God at the center of our marriage. He is the most important part of our marriage. We pray together each morning, worship together and help each other grow in Him.
So if you are a frustrated single Aspie, here is my advice to you.
Give it to God. Work on your relationship with Him right now while you are single. Ask Him to send you the person that HE has picked out for you.
Learn to be flexible. No one is perfect. Agree to accept each other just as you are. Help your partner understand your Asperger’s, don’t just expect them to accept it and be perfect.
Don’t believe the movies and books when it comes to marriage. Make your own marriage; your own relationship. Don’t try to model it after a book you have read or a movie you have seen because those scenarios are unrealistic.
Be prepared to work. Marriage is work and you have to be prepared to work at it. A marriage is like a tree. If you water it, fertilize it and take care of it, it will produce fruit and thrive. However, if you neglect it, it will wither away and die.
Finally, keep God at the center of your relationship. Just as you work at your marriage, so should you work at your relationship with God. It takes time and effort but both relationships are important.
Pray together, play together, talk and take time to know each other. But most of all, let your marriage relationship glorify God.