Aspies and Relationships

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Asperger syndrome, Aspie marriage, Christian Aspie, Christian Living, family, living for God, marriage, Relationship education, relationship with Jesus

One thing that I see come up quite a bit with Aspies is relationships – usually of the romantic kind.

I know that I wanted a relationship but it was an awful experience! It seemed that any man I would date or get into a relationship with would get completely frustrated with me.

Most of the time it ended in abuse, either verbally, emotionally, physically or all three.

It wasn’t until I put it all into God’s hands that I actually found a husband. CW is good to me, loving and he has taken the time to educate himself on Asperger’s. He doesn’t always understand, but he tries.

Does he get frustrated? Of course. He would get frustrated anyway. That happens when two people live together. But we work it out.

It also  helps that we keep God at the center of our marriage. He is the most important part of our marriage. We pray together each morning, worship together and help each other grow in Him.

So if you are a frustrated single Aspie, here is my advice to you.

Give it to God. Work on your relationship with Him right now while you are single. Ask Him to send you the person that HE has picked out for you.

Learn to be flexible. No one is perfect. Agree to accept each other just as you are. Help your partner understand your Asperger’s, don’t just expect them to accept it and be perfect.

Don’t believe the movies and books when it comes to marriage. Make your own marriage;  your own relationship. Don’t try to model it after a book you have read or a  movie you have seen because those scenarios are unrealistic.

Be prepared to work. Marriage is work and you have to be prepared to work at it. A marriage is like a tree. If you water it, fertilize it and take care of it, it will produce fruit and thrive. However, if you neglect it, it will wither away and die.

Finally, keep God at the center of your relationship. Just as you work at your marriage, so should you work at your relationship with God. It takes time and effort but both relationships are important.

Pray together, play together, talk and take time to know each other. But most of all, let your marriage relationship glorify God.

Who comes first? And second, and third…

I see a lot of people who seem somewhat confused by the order of priorities in their life, marriage and family.

A few years ago, before I married my husband, I was drawn into a discussion with a man. He asked me, “Does God want us to love Him more or does He want us to love the people more.”

I answered that God wants us to love Him more, then people second. The man flipped out and over the next two days bombed my email with a barrage of ‘evidence’ supporting his stance that God wants us to love the people first.

He was so very, very wrong but refused to accept scripture supporting that he was wrong that that God wants us to love Him first. He finally resorted to name calling and personal attacks. It was then that I realized that he was not accepting and would never accept the Biblical evidence I provided that showed we are to love God first. He did not want to know the truth; he just wanted me to agree with him and not challenge his opinion – which I might add was inaccurate.

The truth is, Matthew 6:33 clearly says that we are to first seek the Kingdom of God. But if we look a little further, to Matthew 22:36-40, the question is very plainly answered.

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Hmmm, it is pretty clear to me that we are to love God first.

From there, though, many people are confused. It makes sense because the Bible does not lay out a structure of priorities. However, when we study the scripture, we can see it quite clearly.

Ephesians 5 gives us a pretty clear picture of what our priorities should be. Ephesians 5:25 says that a husband should love his wife the way Christ loved the church. Well, when we look at where Christ placed the church in His priorities we can see that it had the highest place after God. Wives are commanded in Ephesians 5:22 to submit to their husbands as to the Lord.

Children come from that union of husband and wife; they are next in the line of priorities.

So, within the family structure, we are to love God first and foremost, our spouse second and our children third. This is God’s order, how He intended the family structure to be.

Now, we are also commended to honor our father and mother (Deuteronomy 5:16), our extended family (1 Timothy 5: , our church family or fellow believers (most of 1 Corinthians, Romans 14:10, Galatians 5:13, Ephesians 4:32, 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 10:24).

Finally, we see in Matthew 28:19 that we are to love everyone else, bringing the gospel to the lost, making them disciples of Christ and baptizing them in His name (Jesus name) – populating the Kingdom.

I hope this clears up any confusion that some of you may have had on this topic. I would love to hear your thoughts on this and if you have more supporting scripture please share.

Is Baptism necessary for salvation?

Recently I was on a forum, involved in a discussion regarding the necessity of water baptism for salvation. Some said yes, some said no and some had no opinion whatsoever. I chimed in and in true Aspie form, proclaimed boldly what I know to be true because scripture tells us water baptism is necessary. Of course, most, if not all, in the forum are NTs and they do not appreciate the boldness of Aspies. As usual, I received quite a bit of email and some nasty comments.

 

But I KNOW truth. I know for a fact what the Bible says. As a Spirit Filled Christian, a Christian who has been baptized in water AND spirit, I know what scripture tells us is necessary for salvation. I will outline it here in case you want to know the truth of the Bible as well.

 

Please, though, before you try to argue against what scripture tells us, please read this ENTIRE post. It has been my experience that many people will read only a portion of a post then go on the attack. I ask that you do not do that here. I have provided more than adequate scripture to support the Truth that water baptism is required for salvation. And if you have not been baptized in Jesus’ name, please, please find a Jesus name baptized, Holy Ghost filled person to baptize you the correct way. It is very important.

 

So, is water baptism necessary for salvation?

 

Yes, the Bible clearly tells us that water baptism by immersion in the name of Jesus is required for salvation as is baptism in the Holy Spirit.

 

Please note that by baptism I mean by immersion in water in the Name of Jesus for the remission of sins –  NOT under titles. Luke 24:47 says that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in His name. Water baptism in Jesus’ name is for the remission of sins.

 

We see quite a few scripture where salvation and baptism are referenced together. Mark 16:16, He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.

 

Acts 2:38 lays out the Apostles doctrine for salvation: Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

 

Romans 6:1-4

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?

2 God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?

3 Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?

4 Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

 

Baptism saves us.

1 Peter 3:21

The like figure whereunto even baptism doth also now save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God,) by the resurrection of Jesus Christ

 

Faith alone is not enough.

James 2:24

Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only.

 

Acts 22:15

And now why tarriest thou? arise, and be baptized, and wash away thy sins, calling on the name of the Lord.

 

Paul also stressed the importance of water baptism in Jesus’ name.

Acts 19:1-6

And it came to pass, that, while Apollos was at Corinth, Paul having passed through the upper coasts came to Ephesus: and finding certain disciples,

 

2 He said unto them, Have ye received the Holy Ghost since ye believed? And they said unto him, We have not so much as heard whether there be any Holy Ghost.

 

3 And he said unto them, Unto what then were ye baptized? And they said, Unto John’s baptism.

 

4 Then said Paul, John verily baptized with the baptism of repentance, saying unto the people, that they should believe on him which should come after him, that is, on Christ Jesus.

 

5 When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus.

 

6 And when Paul had laid his hands upon them, the Holy Ghost came on them; and they spake with tongues, and prophesied.

 

In Acts 10 we read of the story of Cornelius. When Peter witnessed to him all who heard the word received the Holy Ghost. At that time Peter COMMANDED that they be baptized. He did not ask or encourage or recommend, he COMMANDED. That is strong evidence that baptism is necessary for salvation.