Some days I feel more disabled than other days.
People seem to directly influence this perception. It seems when I think about how certain people treat me or what they do to me it makes me feel disabled or can make me feel strong and capable. It just depends on the circumstances.
This morning the bus was 7 minutes late. The driver went the wrong way on the street he was supposed to pick us up on, then he turned the wrong way and had to sit at the light. It was frustrating. My husband waited with me and he talked to me, helped me calm down. He said the bus driver had violated the rules and now the universe was out of order.
That is exactly how it felt.
Once I got to work I had calmed some. My work calms me, so I started working.
But work isn’t all great. The work itself is very good, but several of the people are not good. The people who are over me do not like me. It isn’t just my coworkers – some of them like me I think but some I can’t tell. It’s the others. They try to act like they do, they have to because it isn’t professional to show someone that you don’t like them. But I know because of what they have said and what they have done.
Several of them I can never trust again.
But they don’t like me and I know it. I know what they have said and what they have done and the logical analysis applied to the words and actions leaves no other conclusion other than they do not like me. They have shown it as well in things that they have done.
But I keep working, doing the right thing. I am meeting my goals and exceeding them. I am a hard worker and I do my job well. I know I will never go farther here than I am now – at least as long as they are here; but they can not control my destiny, my future. God is in control of my life and they can’t touch that.
I wish they knew my Jesus because they would be a lot different. They would actually act like Christians instead of having to tell people they are Christians.
When you are a true Christian and you have given your life to Christ, when you live for Him, it shows in your actions. You become the face of God. People can see Him through you and you don’t have to tell people that you are a Christian. But these people are more of this world than they are of God. They answer more to their flesh than to Jesus. That is evident in the way they treat others. It is sad and I pray for them every day.
I hope that one day they will meet the real Jesus because right now I am afraid for their salvation. You can’t call yourself a representative of God and conduct yourself the way these people do. On a regular job, you would be fired for misrepresenting the company and damaging its image. Thankfully, our God is a loving, forgiving God. He died for us cause He knew we were going to mess up over and over again and He wanted us to have a chance.
So I pray that they meet the real Jesus before it is too late.