I tend to put limits on myself. I think a lot of people do it, but that doesn’t make it right. When we put limits on ourselves, we put limits on God.
That isn’t right.
When God first called me to minister to people who are touched by autism (families, parents, friends, spouses and, of course, those who are autistic or have Asperger’s), I put limits on myself.
I approached the whole thing with an attitude of “OK, I will do it, but don’t expect much. I don’t have money to promote this. I am not the greatest writer. I am a relatively new Christian (newly spirit-filled), so I don’t know what I can offer here. How am I going to reach these people? This isn’t going to work, I am too socially awkward to be effective. People are not going to want to hear from me.” The list went on and on.
I was willing but skeptical. I put limits on myself and, at the same time, I put limits on God.
Moses did the same thing. Our pastor talked about that today at church. He was talking about how each of us is a part of God’s plan. He will do His works through us as long as we submit to Him and allow ourselves to be His vessel. God called Moses to do His work and Moses put limits on himself, thus putting limits on God.
But God has no limits!
When God is working through me, I have no limits!
As I wrote, put things out there. I poured my heart into this writing, submitting to God’s will and following His guidance. At first, I didn’t hear much from anyone. The stats on visits were meager, but the second month it had doubled. It continued to grow, but I fell again and began to doubt.
I would pray, “God, is anyone out there getting anything from this? Does anyone care? Is this making an impact at all?”
Then I started getting email. I treasure each and every note I receive. I have heard from other Aspies, parents, teachers, churches, friends, it has been amazing! I welcome your emails and comments! Please never stop writing!
But that isn’t even the best part. Yes, God broke through my own limitations that Asperger’s placed on me, by giving me the words to reach others and touch them in ways that resonate with them. He gave me the words to help people understand and help bridge the gap between the world of autism and the church. Ministering to someone who is autistic is usually dramatically different from ministering to someone who is an NT (neuro-typical, or “normal” person).
Yes, when I realized that I wasn’t living for myself, but for God and allowed Him to live in me, operate through me, the limitations placed on me by my Asperger’s evaporated. When I gave myself to Him to be His vessel, my whole world changed.
Matthew 19:26 “…but with God all things are possible.” Yes, when you allow God to take over, anything is possible! All you have to do is give yourself up to Him, submit to Him, listen, know His voice and be obedient. You will probably second guess some of the things He wants you to do, but that is natural (that is what my husband told me when I was skeptical). But just do it! I promise, it is so worth it!
My husband says that I have the gift of wisdom, but I don’t see that. Some things are still shrouded by the Aspie brain, but that isn’t always a bad thing. I might get arrogant if I recognized the “wise” things I said or wrote. I don’t want to be arrogant. Right now, I don’t know what they are and my husband and I don’t discuss that. We prefer to keep me this way, unassuming, innocent, if you will, of some of the ways that God works through me.
What I do notice, though, is that I am more at ease in social situations and that is one of the major, astounding miracles that God has done in my life. Eye contact is still very difficult, but I am better. I don’t rock as much when I talk to people and I don’t feel as anxious.
Social issues have plagued me my entire life, causing me to become be very introverted and isolated. But God is working through me and changing me (I won’t say healing me because it isn’t a healing). He is changing me so that I will be able to begin the next part of His plan for me. He has shown me that He wants me to speak to people, to groups.
Beyond that, I will socialize with these people after. I will talk to them one on one, have conversations, shake their hands and even hug them – all of them strangers (but brothers and sisters in Christ). At first this scared me half to death! Then I got really nervous.
Now, though, I am ready for God to open that door. And He will – in His time.
So what is God calling you to do? Is He telling you things that you are skeptical of? Why? What limitations are you putting on yourself? What limitations are you putting on God?